- Get as much real information as possible: name, address, home and work phone number, work location, job description, etc.
- Verify that the information is correct. There are internet directories that allow for a reverse look up of a person's phone number.
- Ask for references.
- Compare notes with others who know the person and check for inconsistencies
- Obtain a recent photo.
- Inform friends of who you are meeting and where and give them the information you have.
- Make sure the person you are meeting knows you've told others this information and that if you don't check in within a certain period of time that the police will be called. If this upsets them, then perhaps the meeting is best left alone.
- Be willing to give the same information you are asking for.
- Always meet originally in a public place, that way if you don't like the way the other person is acting you can leave safely.
- Ask a security guard or restaurant employee to escort you to your car if you feel uncomfortable.
- NEVER meet at your home or the other person's home.
- Make a safe call as soon as you get there so that someone knows you got there ok. Make safe calls at designated times. Make sure the person you are meeting knows you are expected to call. Make sure the person you are calling is prepared to call the police if you do not call on time.
- Come up with a "panic" word or phrase that can be said in order to tell you are under duress. Do not tell the person you're meeting the panic word. For example, have the caller ask if you are ok. If you answer, "yes, I'm ok" it means you are NOT. But if you say, I'm fine, great, terrific...then you are.
- Wait until next time before moving to a more intimate level. If the other person isn't willing to wait, it's not a good sign.
- Take a friend along with you if possible.
- ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling, if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Even if you decide the night before you are about to take a plane somewhere, don't go. The loss of a plane ticket is much better than the loss of your life or your health.
- Take cash and keep it ON your person, not all in your purse or wallet.
- Consider how much it will cost to get you back home and try to double that amount... whether it's cab fare or plane fare.
- Have a way out, transportation, airplane ticket, etc. that is independent of the person you are going to meet.
- Have a place to stay: hotel, friend, etc. should the person you're going to meet turns out to be something other than what you expect. Don't get trapped.
- Practice safe sex.
- Current AIDS test and STD Test might be in order especially if any blood/fluid play might be involved.
- Do not assume an online romantic relationship will automatically be romantic in real time. Go into the meeting expecting only friendship.
- Be honest with the person you are meeting about your appearance and expectations for the meeting. Do not tell a person you are meeting you can't wait to do X, Y and Z to them. If you show up and change your mind, he might not take it as well as he should.
- Look for honest and complete answers to your questions. If there is hesitancy or conflicts with what you've been told, don't go.
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Precautions when meeting someone for the first time
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